Jersey The Dog Blog

Wow, what a weekend. First Happy Labor Day to all my friends out there. It was one roasty, toasty weekend in the Midwest. My Ma decided we would spend the weekend on the floating home. We haven’t had much time on the floater this summer, so it was kinds nice. Now, cocker spaniels and heat do not mix, so I was pretty warm. My Ma worked hard to keep me cool, including hosing me down. I did not dig that, at all, while it was happening, but afterward, wow, what a difference. Like an injection of B12!!!!

So we had some excitement this weekend. Ma and I were enjoying the afternoon sitting on the aft deck of the floating home, when suddenly Ma got up, says “Jersey, You Stay”, closed the door and left. Now, on the aft deck, even though Ma closed a door, I can still see very well, while on my pretty, soft, floral perch. Ma walked quickly down the dock, as it seems one of our neighbors was struggling getting their floating home back into their dock. It was pretty windy and the water is shallow on the river so maneuvering can be difficult. I was on high alert, watching for Ma. Waiting…waiting…waiting…. Then suddenly, I heard a roar and a CRASH!!!! The docks shook!! The crunching sound was horrible!! Holy Hamster, is Ma OK??? People came running from all over the marina. “Shut Her Down! Shut Her Down!”” I hear someone yelling. I then see Ma quickly moving around on the dock, along with a flurry of other activity. I hear Ma yell, “Can someone get two lines? We need one midships and one the aft cleat!” She does not sound right. Her voice was so serious!! I usually only her that voice after one of my explorations into the meal pale (Ma calls it the garbage can). I then hear someone else yell “She won’t move. Pieces of metal are wrapped around the dock. We need to push her out to dislodge.” I then here Ma say “She’s secured midship so push her out as far as you need to. “ Midship? Cleat? Has she learned a new language I am not aware of?? There are a few moments of silence and then I hear someone say “She’s free, now PULL!!” Another period of silence. What’s going on?? “Ok now just slowly pull her straight back” This person sounded MUCH calmer, no yelling now. I then see people scurrying around down where Ma went and it looks like they are tying up our neighbors floating home, That is a really good sign!!! I hear someone say “Wow, there’s some pretty decent damage there, but that can be fixed. Everyone is ok.” Hearing this meant that this furry little dog could exhale. Slowly people started filing passed me and I here them saying “Man, that was scary”, “That could have been worse”, “That swim platform is just splinters now”, “I wonder if there is damage below the water line?”. I then see Ma coming my way. YEAH!!!!!! I’m so excited, that my little fuzzy butt starts to wiggle. Wiggle so hard it throws me off balance!! She comes back on the boat, pauses to take a breath and then says “Whew! That was intense. Time for a stiff drink.”

Hello my friends, It’s good to be back from a long respite. This little dog and my Ma have been through a lot in the last few months, with lots of adventures along the way. I have a new dwelling and it is pretty different then my old place. I keep losing my Ma in the new house, and honestly I think she hides from me on purpose!! I’m running from one end to the other, cannot find her anywhere, then suddenly there she is. Whew!! I get really worried she’s lost!! It is my responsibility to keep Ma safe, you know.

So, my new house is different in another way, too. In the old house, I could run anywhere I wanted, with ease. I could bob and weave, stop and start, at will. Well, those days are over. My Ma says I look like a cartoon character because I try to take off and I just stay in one place with my feet moving a hundred miles an hour!! She thinks it’s funny. I am not entertained! If something needs my immediate attention, how can that happen with me slipping and sliding all over the place!! Pretty frustrating for the little cocker spaniel.

Now, let’s get serious. These slippery floors are impacting my ability to request food from Ma. Typically, I sit there, in front her so she can see my big, brown eyes, putting on my best “I’m starving” face, so that I can get a tasty morsel. Well, on these goofy floors, a fuzzy butt slides, so when I’m sitting there, giving Ma my best “Feed Me” face, my bottom is sliding. My front paws stay pretty secure but since my bottom is sliding, I have to keep adjusting. Before I know it, I’m across the room!!!! How can I be effective from way back here?? I guess I should be happy there was a wall to stop the slide, otherwise I might have slid across the entire house!!! Thanks goodness for walls.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks for this little cocker. Almost a week ago, I lost my BFF, Lexi, to cancer. She was the first pooch I met after Ma adopted me and she was another cocker spaniel like me. She showed me the ropes and we bonded quickly. Her Ma was surprised at how Lexi and I got along, as Lexi’s house mate was a black and white cocker, that looked just like me, and he was quite a bully. A real meany pants!! Lexi and I were best buds and I still run up to her back yard to see if she can come out and play…sigh, sad Jersey

As if that wasn’t enough, I’ve been feeling a little weird lately. It’s just so hard to tell Ma what’s going on. You see, I would get up quickly, because you know, I do everything at full speed, and I would get dizzy. Sometimes I would even stumble. My Ma did notice a time or two and asked if I had been drinking. I wish!!   I was also really struggling to catch my post-walk dog treats. Ma asks me to sit, tosses me a cookie and I catch it. Period!! I am very proud of my catching ability, but suddenly I could catch my treats. It’s like I could see them coming at me and then it would bounce off my face!! Well, that’s embarrassing!! Ma also noticed I had really started drooling. She said I looked like a Saint Bernard or Hooch. Hooch? Really? Then my face started feeling odd, kinda tingly. I would shake my head to get rid of that weird feeling but them my drool would fly across the room and land on the wall, table, or my Ma’s leg. With each day, I started feeling weirder and weirder. On Sunday morning, I lost my balance and fell down. My Ma freaked out!! She brought me inside and I slowly went up the stairs and as I approached my food dish, I got dizzy and had to stop. My Ma freaked again!! “Jersey, you never hesitate where food is involved! Something I terribly wrong and I’m starting to think all these different things might be linked, somehow.” She wondered if maybe I had a stroke, Yes, pooches can have strokes we have learned. Ma swept me into the vet first thing Monday morning to see what was wrong. She was so worried. Dr Sarah, at the Riverview Veterinary service, sat on the floor with me, cradled my head in her hands and immediately said “Jersey has Bells palsy.” My Ma “What!? Dogs can get Bells Palsy??” Dr Sarah, “They sure can. It is not super common but it is not rare either.” Ahhhh, now things are making sense. The left side of my face is paralyzed and that is why my drool looks like shoelaces hanging out of my mouth. The vision in my left eye is affected and that is why I cannot catch my precious cookies and my stumbling, because I get dizzy. I was also having trouble eating my food out of my bowl. I would have to take a few pieces, place them on the floor and eat one piece at a time. Dr Sarah says that the left side of my tongue is even paralyzed so that is why I’m struggling to eat. What a pickle I am in!!! Dr Sarah put me on some very strong steroids and I’ll be on those for about 3 weeks. She told my Ma that I should be all better by then, catching all the cookies I want!!!! I suspect that with all these steroids, that after three weeks, I will look like the incredible hulk!!!

So, you may have noticed that I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus. My Ma has been busier than normal and where she goes, I go, so I’ve been away from my PC. Now that winter is settling in, hopefully I’ll be posting on a more regular basis…. As you know I have a lot to say….

So my Ma loves Halloween and that love often manifests itself through her dressing me up, much to my dismay. In the past, I’ve been a Devil (Ma kept saying how that was very appropriate) and a bat. I liked being the bat. I had these kick butt red & black sparkly wings. We visited my Aunt Priscilla that year and I got to run around in her yard. I ran and ran and ran but never got enough speed to get off the ground. Darn it!!!  When I was a devil, I had horns and a cape. The horns were cool as they were built for my kind of ears. The cape? Annoying!!!!!! It kept getting in my way and I could not frolic. Yes, Frolic. Well, I have found the quickest way to get my Ma to take something off of me, is to start chewing on it. A couple gnaws later and the cape was gone, like clockwork.

Now, for this year. I heard my Ma say my costume was going to be “ironic”. What in the world does that mean?? Could it be made out of metal?? She went to the closet and pulled out my little outfit. It was white, sparkly, & pretty. Show me more. She sat down on the floor with me and started to dress me. Ok, not liking this. She slips one of my front legs through an arm hole in the dress. Yes, it’s a dress. I’ve never thought of myself as a girlie pooch, but I’m up for the task. She slips my other leg through the other arm hole in the dress. Ma then seals the dress around my belly. I look around and there are these glimmering gold wings on my back. Ooo, those are kinda pretty.

Not sure these wings are as good as the bat wings, but not bad. I stand up and realize I cannot walk in this darn thing. Again I cannot frolic. Maybe this is what they mean when they say that women must sacrifice for fashion….    But I’m a dog!!! Sure, I am pulling this off like George Clooney in a tux, but still…. My Ma smiles and then says, “My Little Angel”  Really?? She has NEVER called me an angel. “Jersey Girl”, “Fuzzy Butt”, and “You Little Sh_t” (I hear that one a lot), but never ANGEL.

Then she says “Don’t worry baby, its just costume. I know you’re not an angel so no pressure”…. Whew!! Thank goodness. You know how when you hold your stomach to look thinner. I was holding in my “Little Devil” to look angelic but eventually I had to let it out…..

Happy Halloween, My friends…..

So, many of you may know that my Ma is a monster Chicago Bears fan. This terrifies this fuzzy, little Cocker and here’s why. These “bears” are on our television fairly often, especially this time of year. When they are on, my Ma tends to yell at me… a lot!!! I mean, I’m the only other one in the room, so when she’s yelling, it must be at me, right?? I just sit up on my perch, really behaving myself (which is unusual, I’ll admit), hoping she will stop yelling at me. From time to time, Ma looks over at me and says “Jersey girl, I’m not yelling at you, baby.” She then comes over by me and gives me a good scratch. Feels so good!! Everything is all better… ah, not so fast. She starts yelling at me again, *sigh*. We go through this cycle and yelling, scratching, yelling, scratching several times. Eventually, when these goofy “bears” go off the television, Ma stops yelling. Maybe if they were the Chicago “Cockers”, things would be better … J

Now, in addition to Ma yelling (oh and throwing things at the television, I don’t think I mentioned that), she also feels the need to “Dress me up”. See, when Ma adopted me, I was found with no tags and was not micro-chipped so she had no idea what my name had been. She thought about all her hobbies, trying to think of girlie dog names. She likes boating and thought of “Burgee”, no, just doesn’t fit. Football, ohh how about Jersey?? Kinda like that (little did she know that goofy “Jersey Shore” show would premier just months after adopting me!!! I guess I should be glad she did not name my Snooki!!!) Since I am named after a football jersey, apparently Ma feels I should wear a jersey for each game. I got off easy the first few years. She would tie a pretty, dark blue scarf around my neck. I looked pretty darn good and it was nice and comfy. No drama. Well, those were the good ole days….. I now have an actual jersey to wear… ugh. It is the really pretty pink color, I do like that. But good lord, putting it on me…..ooo I do not like that!!! The last time she “dressed me up”, she slipped the jersey over my head, then she pulled my ears through. I knew that if I didn’t get this thing off me now, I was in trouble. I grabbed one of the arm holes and started chewin’.. Chewed like I never chewed before… I realize Ma is laughing and laughing hard!!   It has become a battle of wills. She is ever so gently slipping one of my paws through an arm hole. Uh oh, she got it through… I still have the other arm hole to chew on. She kept pulling it out of my mouth and before I knew it, my other paw is through the other arm hole. I suddenly realize I cannot move. What in the…? This goofy thing is like a strait jacket!! Are you kidding me?? Ma then pulls my front legs all the way through the arm holes and things start looking up. I can use my legs again. She is still laughing, laughing harder than I have ever seen. Ma continues to pull the jersey over the rest of me and I hear “Awwwwww, Jersey girl you look so good” (I’ll post photos later) I was now able to get up and walk around and, honestly, the jersey was not only pretty comfy, I was pretty in pink!!  Then I heard her say “This was good practice for Halloween!”……..uh oh

Today was a great family day. My grandma is doing much, much better and was able to join us on a boat ride today. I have written previously about my intense dislike of my life jacket. My Ma says I need to wear it in case I fall in the river while cruising. She should know me better than that, as I am a very cautious little cocker spaniel.   If I won’t jump off the dock, to get at those pesky ducks and gooses, I’m surely not jumping off a moving boat that is 10 feet above the water!!! BUT my Ma is very cautious and wants to make sure I’m safe, so when she says “Jersey, time to put on your life jacket”, I know it’s for my own good. That, of course, does not stop me from running down into the cabin to hide. Perhaps if Ma doesn’t see me, then maybe she will forget about the puffy, yellow body cast. Yes, that’s what it feels like, a body cast!!! No such luck. She kept calling me so I went back up on deck. She assembled this thing around me. I think you can see how annoyed I am in this photo…

I walk around a bit and am thinking that maybe if I can go to sleep, this will all be over. I look up at my normal chair but I am not sure I can jump up that high in my yellow splint.. harumpf.. I decide to stay on the ground and lay down. I am settling in and then I am asked to move. I try to get up but cannot. What in the world…. I try again and cannot move… Ok, this is not funny. Ma keeps asking me to “move”, but I cannot!! Suddenly, I hear her laughing, “Jersey, are you stuck to the rug??” She then grabbed me round my mid-section, and my splint, and lifted me. I hear this horrible ripping sound!! Holy Hamster!! What was that?? Did my pelt just rip?? Because of my body cost, I cannot bend to even check out my back half, with my prize 2 inch tail, is still attached. I now hear Grandma laughing and she says “Jersey, the Velcro on your life jacket stuck to the rug!” Yes, yet another dose of humiliation at the hands of this yellow nightmare. I hear my Ma say that it’s time to get a different life jacket as she cannot have her little dog sticking to the floor. She was really cracking herself up. I am trying to focus on the fact that this terrible yellow splint may be history, but who knows what the next jacket will be. Perhaps pink, with black polka dots (seriously?), blue with neon colored fish (Lord, help me), or perhaps, the best yet, plaid…..I think I’m having heart palpitations….

Hello Friends, Apologies for my absence from the online waves. My Grandma has been really sick and my Ma was been very much focused on her Ma. Two weeks ago, we were relaxing in our comfy living room and Ma was settling in to assist a client with their weekend activities. She calls someone, I think it was my Grandma, and the next thing I know, Ma is flying around the house, clothes and duffel bags are flying everywhere. She talks to someone again and within minutes we’re in super car, driving. (My Ma calls her car “Super Car” because she says there is nothing it cannot do). Our destination was my Grandparents house. Oh goody, goody, goody!! I love it here!! Wait, someone is missing. I immediately launched a search party. No Grandma. Hmmm. Ma then “Jersey-Proofed” the house ( I am not fond of that term!!), then she and Grandpa left. Ma and Grandpa came and went each day, leaving for hours at a time.  I think it was 5 days later when Grandma came home. She was moving very slowly but she was thrilled to see me (I mean, who wouldn’t be!! I’m so cute!!)   Ma and I stayed for the rest of the week and I kept an eye on things (because I am the family protector, you know). Grandma is doing really well, now, and that makes this little, fuzzy cocker pretty darn happy!!!

So on to my latest culinary adventure. Locusts are here. They make these really annoying noises and when my Ma hears them, she groans. From time to time, I find them laying on MY road . I sniff each and every one to make sure they will no longer make that horrible sound. Occasionally, one does start moving and makes that terrible, buzzing noise. How do I stop it?? ….. I eat ‘em. Yep, down the hatch!!! They stop that buzzing almost immediately.  I have to chew really quickly because as soon as my Ma sees me “acquire” the latest noisemaker, she tries to get me to drop it. Yeah, right!! Like that’s gonna happen… So, back to today… typically, I have to “quiet” one or two a day but today, those little boogers were all over the place. After my fourth one, my belly did not feel well. As a matter of fact, it was downright awful!! I gotta do it. Up they came. My Ma took the opportunity to scold me and says “See, even your belly knows those things are disgusting”. Now I know, 3 is my limit …..